What promises, man?

 Today, I am in a destructive mood. All of a sudden, my gut feeling wants me to act like a rebel and do away with everyone who acts against me. That feeling of being betrayed with a promise is inexplicable in words; not that I haven’t ever heard of something like ‘promises-are-meant-to-be-broken’ but realizing that someone gave you a word (that something will be done) for his own selfish purpose, it makes me think lowly of that person so much so that I wish to put his name under brackets of suspicion for future references.

I’ve learnt a lesson. The next time he comes asking for help, I’ll straightaway return him with a big ‘NO’ –as big as it could be-promise breakers can’t be deserving of my admiration. Period.

But wait, I just heard the call for prayer and a thought just struck me that need to be mentioned here. I did not wake for fajr today—why? I had been busy with my own rendezvous last night and it was difficult to wake up in the morning. The reason doesn’t end there, the current stability of my life is to be blamed for- I have no reasons to worry at all- I have the entire day to perform its Qadha ..God can wait, no?

That’s me today.

But the person I am when afflicted with sorrow is drastically different:- I go around being kind to friends and foes alike, I find religious songs more mellifluous than other genres (that appear evil at that time) , being of aid to somebody unimportant seems alluring and optional prayers are performed with optimum zeal, commitments after commitments are piled up..Why? Because if I have to ask something from the Lord, I have to be the type He appreciates; and when my needs are answered, I revert back to my original ways of arrogance and self adoration.

Even then, God doesn’t stop His blessings on me, nor does He expose my fallacies before all those people who hold me in high regards.

And here I am, trying to rebuke the person who replied my generosity with his stinginess. A human cannot bear contempt from another human; and yet I believe it’s all right to take the Lord of the Worlds for granted?